After the unqualified success of last night's lost-cat locating poster campaign, I have decided to start a small business offering personalised, and deeply poignant missing kitten services. Unfortunately, owing to some pretty casual spell-checking I am now CEO of www.catfiender.com. Welcome, cat fiends. Let me know if I can help.

01

Hello, bienvennue and wilkommen to Wolfmania the website.

Wolfmania the what now? Wolfmania the website that's part self-aggrandising party machine, part weird museum, and part cry for help. There will be songs, words and art from the foothills of the music industry (20,000 leagues beneath the scene, as a wise friend of ours once put it).

sssssshhhhhhhhhh do you hear that? Quiet isn't it? Not in bloody head it's not.